Never let it be said that the krauts don't have a sense of humour! We had a right laugh and most of my jokes went down a treat. They left early and even my gag about them going to put their towels down round the hotel pool got a big laugh. They really were great - not like the Nazis at all.

The bride and groom had opted for my 'Traditional' package so I didn't have that many photos to shoot. The biggest problem I had was that the bride, like most women, had really fat arms and sweated a lot. Now these days you needn't worry about this as you can use Photoshop Elements to reduce the 'double wave' and sweat patches.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that even the best clients will have an elderly relative in a wheelchair. This isn't a problem if you're shooting Reportedge™ as you can get some dramatic action shots using the chair. It´s a different matter with Traditional wedding photography as no one wants an ugly wheelchair in the shots and it messes up the composition, having someone sat down when everyone else is stood up. One solution is to carry a spare wheelchair in the boot and coerce a willing guest to sit in it on the opposite side, to balance things out. Alternatively if the cripple can stand a bit then get them out of the chair and prop them against a nearby wall. You can then set the group up around them.

Under no circumstances should you Photoshop the spastic out of the chair and onto made up legs. You will get complaints if you do this. Trust me!