Generally accepted by who?

I don't know how I stumbled on this piece of tat, but surely you are either dillusional or just completely taking the p*ss. You don't honestly charge for this c*ap, do you?

I am one of the most highly sought after wedding photographers in the world
and one of the real 'Masters of Wedding Photography'.

You are a detractor and copyist of the highest order. Tsk.

Derek,

You really are the pioneer of wedding photography - your detractors are clearly jealous of your unique and sophisticed style.

I was wondering if you have a position available for an aprentice shooter. You don't have to pay me, I would gladly pay you to learn direct from such a master.

Gissa Job
Chris

oh pleeeeease, I am so in awe of your work I really need to learn from you. I have a few million pounds saved up that I would gladly pay you just to assist on a few weddings.

I would gladly sell my wife and kids to cover any expense I may cause you.

oh OK then. Be at Bromley Registry Office this Saturday at 1pm. Bring the cash
and come on your own.

Thanks - you won't regret it. I'll even wear clean underpants for the occasion

Hi Derek,

Do you ever travel to the United States? If so then I would like to procure your services as a wedding photographer. It's actually not my wedding; I just want to do something extra special for my ex-wife and her new fiance.

Please let me know.

I am not allowed to legally enter the United States. However I could send Muktar
as he is a genuine asylum seeker and has several passports.

Yes the yanks get a little titchy over nothing. I also can't enter the US - all over a small misunderstanding over a few kilos of icing sugar I was asked to deliver after a visit to Colombia. Perhaps your assistant could consider doing some product shots of my collection of ivory and mountain gorilla heads. Nice site - keep up the high quality work.

Can I book Muktah. We are organising a small wedding on a base at Roswell, USA. We need someone discreet who won't do processing at local labs (they keep losing all of our photos!!). As it is a bit low key can we meet him late at night at a point to be disclosed. The groom is rather different, sort of small and bald, but very popular as he has some interesting party tricks. Also does Muktah have a pilot's license?

I thought I was good, but after visiting your site, I don't have the heart to go on in this business, I bow down before you, Derek Pye, the most sought after wedding photographer in the UK, and possibly the world. The rest of us should just accept that we can't compete with such a talent.

Good decision.

derek is it true you are going stateside to hold some much needed wedding shooting seminars?... i hear that the level of technical competence on the other side of the pond is often sadly lacking and that they are crying out for some expereinced input...

Derek,

further to the previous reply, I would love to know if you are considering holding a series of seminars on the legendary Reportedge style of photography. As a wedding photographer of only a couple of years experience, I would love to learn from the master.

Regards

TJ

No. You can't really teach Reportedge™. You can either do it or you can't. You
should stick to the Mistike™ style instead, anyone can pull that off.

I can't believe some idiots out there think your site is a joke. I for one have been searching for a site with useful tips and tricks to enable me to break into the world of glamour/wedding photography and yours is truly the holy grail.
Thanks for a great site and keep up the good work.
rob

Truly superb site. Well written and very very funny. Keep it up.

Happy Xmas.

Cheers.

Uhhh! Dude! If you're soooo posh with the camera, why all this garbage?

Also, Dude,
If you're available on really short notice... you must not have any work, and you must not have any work because you truly suck. In fact, I bet you're the suckiest wannabe photographer in the U.K. aren't you? Come on, be a man, admit it, you suck bad!!! Where are your photos????

Try clicking on the menu link that says - 'Derek's Photos' . That would be a
good place to start.

"I am also one of the most highly sought after."

That's too bad. I hope you have a good attorney.

Your detractors wouldn't know talent if it came and chopped their legs off with a rusty blade. Which is incidentally why I also am not allowed to travel to America. I suggest though that more pictures of yourself in action is what I would like to see - the artist at work. And if you suck , as the gentleman or lady above suggests, then I would like to action shots of this too.

Derek
Hilarious site
Can I book you to come and talk to
The London Portrait Group ?

Nice one mate - I'll be there, get the booze in.

Spotted an ad in today's BJP classifieds offering models for private glamour
photography, "seen and booked via our fourthcoming web sight", and felt sure
I recognized the hand of Derek Pye in this upmarket operation. Looked at the
web sight and even recognized the poses from your icons, definitely must be
you. Good luck with your new venture.

Quicksnap

Sorry I was go'in to comment, but there's a knock on the door I think they've found me, be back in 12 months!.

P.S Derek when you come back in can you bring that DVD you promised me, you know that one you made of all the family you told me about.

Many Thanks 'wats me name'

Derek take no notice of these losers, the very fact that they have to comment on your photography shows they don't know anything about photography!, I love your work, do you think you will sell any limited edition canvas framed copy's, if you are then I will buy 2 of each original. I would love to create shots like yours, can you tell me where I can buy the fairy dust in your Mistike?¢‚Äû¬¢ artwork.

Many Thanks for all your help and advice.

A tiled canvas of the wide bride in your random photos would be good.

Quicksnap

I love the propping up idea and the use of a 'spare chair' I would like to also bring alone a spair dentist, plastic surgeon, basic literacy and numeracy teacher and a dress that actually fits the Bride.

What do you think Derek?

Don't be stupid. You'd never get them all in the motor.

All the best

Derek

Your Wedding Packages are very 'low in price' is that because you want your Photography to be accessed by all budgets, or is it because you have more money than you can spend in a lifetime and see this as a vocation and dimply charge enough to cover your printing costs?

That is the starting price. The £295 price is for my attendance at the wedding. If you want me to bring a camera then is classed as an additional extra.

The special album isn't really that special.

All the best

Derek