Introducing the Iddy Biddy Weddy Viddy Cam Hat MkI™ or IBWVCH MkI™ or, even better, the Cam Hat™, an exciting new innovation from Derek Pye, The makers of the Cathedral Dome Flash Diffuser™.

In times like these, with the Insane Fiscal Destabilisation Crisis in full swing, the sensible bride and groom will want to save a bit of cash wherever possible. The obvious thing to do is ditch the idea of a wedding video.

But wait, what if you have no taste and still want a wedding video. Oh what to do, what to do...

Don't worry we've invented the perfect solution. The Cam Hat™ fits to any normal oversized head. Photographers can now offer wedding video as a bolt on extra to their already imaginative packages. Because the IBWVCH MkI™ is worn by a wedding photographer, the Cam Hat™ has a massive advantage over traditional wedding videography - you get never before seen interesting footage that would be impossible if shot by an conventional, overweight videographer!

CreditCrikey - at last. I’ve been predicting it of course. Ever since that night in the boozer two years ago when I invented credit card snap. The rules were quite simple. Draw a card out of your wallet and place it on the table. Your opponent draws a card and places it on top. When you get two Kwik Fit Auto Charge cards or maybe two MandS Simply Food Gold cards, shout ‘snap’ and you win. The loser buys the booze. I packed it in as I always seemed to lose, probably because my hand to eye co-ordination is rated ‘spastic’ by medical professionals. It did however occur to me that if some of the idiots down my local can get a credit card then there is something amiss. And lo, it came to pass...